(Envisioned as a short on Saturday Night Life.)
Booger Man has a hot date. This isn’t saying much, really, since Booger Man has a regular girlfriend. Insomuch that an expected, and even taken for granted, date can be hot; Booger Man has a hot date.
Booger Man and Girlfriend are at a club drinking and dancing and generally having a good time. Booger Man excuses himself so he may visit the restroom. Unbelievably, the men’s room is empty. Finally! All through dancing Booger Man kept imagining ways he could covertly stick a finger up his nose and remove the choice booger that resides there.
As Booger Man is busy, so is Girlfriend, as she accepts a dance invitation and gets to grinding with Hands Man, his hands roaming freely over Girlfriend.
Back in the men’s room Booger Man is doing his thing at a urinal and inserts a finger into his nose and quickly removes the choice booger. Only briefly is he allowed to admire the product of his nostril before others enter the men’s room. Booger Man wipes the choice booger on the wall above the urinal. He zips up, cleans up, and heads out.
Later, Hands Man walks briskly into the men’s room and up to a urinal. An expression of relief spreads across his face as he does his thing. He places his right hand on the wall for support, and leans into it. Hands Man’s hand is set squarely over Booger Man’s choice booger. Hands Man pulls his hand away to reveal a booger-free wall. He zips up, but doesn’t clean up, and heads out.
After more drinking and dancing Booger Man again excuses himself. As soon as Booger Man disappears into the crowd Hands Man is there making a play for Girlfriend. Never one to shun a bit ‘o random mugging to get the blood flowing, Girlfriend eagerly embraces Hands Man and his hands go to work, even groping beneath her shirt. Girlfriend’s internal timer ticks down and she pushes away Hands Man, teasingly done with her bit ‘o fun.
Booger Man returns and he and Girlfriend depart the club. Sitting in their parked car they begin to make out like teenagers. Booger Man gets aggressive and he gropes under Girlfriend’s shirt. Booger Man pauses. He pulls away his hand to find a choice booger. Booger Man looks up quizzically. Is this his choice booger? How did this homing pigeon of a booger make it back to him, upon the breast of Girlfriend? Booger Man’s eyes glaze over as he ponders the mysteries of the universe, and two-timing girlfriends.
