Friday, September 28, 2012

Do You Want To Play A Game?

This is how the game works. A man and woman meet. For the game to be in play the man and woman must assume their traditional parts. The man pursues the woman with the intent of having sex. The woman plays hard to get. Even if the woman is not hard to get, she has pretend to be to play the game.

For the man it is not about finding things he likes, it is about disqualifications. He can accept ugly, but not too ugly. He can accept fat, but not too fat. She can be old, not too old-looking. He can accept annoying, but not too annoying. It boils down to what he is willing to tolerate in order to get some. If a man continues to talk to a woman then he wants to have sex with her, he still may find a reason to bail.

For the woman it is about finding things she likes. She likes the way he talks to her. She likes his smile. She likes the way he dresses. If a woman continues to talk to a man then she is looking for a reason that might sway her to yes; course, she could just be passing the time and the man has no shot in hell.

The man needs to be assertive but not too aggressive. He needs to be confident, but not cocky. He needs to be funny, but not a goofball. He needs to flirt, but not be creepy.

The woman … well, she doesn’t really need to be anything. If she has attracted a man’s attention then she need only decide.

Here are variations on the game:

When a woman thinks more like a man. If so, there isn’t much of game. She makes it happen instead of waiting. Men hate this because without a game they are on the sideline. Men like this because … score!

When a woman isn’t really in the game but acts like she is. The man will keep working it on the off chance she decides to get in the game.

When a man isn’t playing the game. Really, it can happen. Some men are just not in the game. He might talk to women. Might be friendly. Maybe make some jokes. But he will not be assertive, and flirting will be light if any at all. The only time a man who doesn’t play can get some is when he encounters a woman who takes the role of the man, as long as she doesn’t disqualify him.
Now, get out there and play!





Friday, September 21, 2012

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

I was reading Angie’s post about the correlation between a crazy partner and hot sex, and how much crazy one would tolerate for the hot sex. My first thought was, “I need more hot sex.” My second thought was, “I need to find some crazies and check out the sex so can I speak authoritatively on the subject.” Several minutes later, after sobering back into reality, I decided to give some left-brained thought to the crazies and hot sex, as long it doesn’t know what my right-brain is doing!

First off, we are talking about a relationship with said crazy, right? Many guys will take a one night stand of hot sex with an out-the-window bat-shit crazy woman. In fact, lots of guys will take a couple weeks of that action. Right up until he begins to sniff “relationship.” So, I will assume we are talking about a relationship and not just tossing the dirty leg with some nutcase.
When I say relationship I mean your family and friends know your partner has got the crazy. If no one knows then that it is more like asking how long will someone have an affair with a crazy just for the hot monkey-sex? Right up until someone finds out, that’s how long.

What do we mean by hot sex? Well, we mean no holes barred, she is totally into it, pushing your boundaries, over the top sex. No one says no. No one complains. No one questions. No one judges. You don’t even tell your closest friend half of what you do. Whatever the two of you are doing she is totally into it, and you never, ever doubt it.

Of course, I am stalling. Because, of course, the answer depends. It depends on the guy. The longer a man can tolerate crazy in a relationship just for the hot sex, then the more self-centered that man is, then the more that man sees the woman as a prop.

Let’s be clear on tolerate. Some men like the crazy, so they are not tolerating it, they are attracted to it. The drama and the hysterics are like the candle to the moth. But who are we fooling? They look for the crazy because they are looking for the hot sex that might come along with it. Would they really stick it out with the crazy if that is all there was?

But the answer still depends and so I can only truly answer for myself. I would not be in a relationship just for the sex, but I do like a bit-o-crazy. Baggage and some drama, in other words emotion, are things everyone has. I would rather it be expressed out in the open. Yes, please.

Monday, September 17, 2012

A Street By Any Other Name

I attended the SMU-Texas A&M football game and more importantly I attended The Boulevard, SMU’s submission to the world of tailgating. My son is learning to drive and as he was doing some driving on Saturday he asked for a reminder of what it was called when someone is following too closely. Tailgating. In classic American language tradition we have a single word that has two completely different meanings.

 As with The Grove at Ole Miss, there are no real tailgates at The Boulevard. You have a grassy commons area with tent tops every few feet. The Boulevard seemed more like a state fair atmosphere, with several retail/commercial tents hawking products and services. A detraction, in my opinion. You can separate The Boulevard into two parts: the student section, and the family section.

The family section is your more traditional tailgate setting. Older alumni mixing with the young’uns, and visiting fans mooching for what they can. You got your grills, and TV’s, and food trays. All in all a relatively wholesome area.

To the north, and I noticed with less tree coverage and so less shade, is the student section. To be more precise you might call it the Greek section, as fraternities and sororities have their own tent tops. A multi-ring circus, so to speak. Here you have pounding music, and preppy guys (yes, in case you are unaware, 80’s preppy is in for male college students), and girls who seem dressed for an evening at a cocktail lounge. Lots of dresses and skirts, riding up as they jump around to some rap song. No one really dances anymore. They either jump around in unison, or do a line-dance. In unison appears to be the common thread. Occasionally someone will show off their choreographed dance moves and then you get mostly spectating.

In the student section my 17 year old daughter was appropriately put off by the raucous display, and my 16 year old son appropriately bugged-eyed.

Tailgating was originally conceived as a means of distraction while you wait for the football game. What you have at The Boulevard is tailgating accompanied by the distraction of a football game.