Saturday, July 21, 2012

Yoga Watching

On the one hand it can be tough observing others while doing yoga. In certain poses it is near impossible to get a good look at anyone else, but I am a people watcher and there are plenty of watchees in a yoga class.

Favorite Position, not Pose

First there is positioning; that is, where does one place their mat. By far the popular areas are to the sides and not in front. I guess I understand to the sides if you like to use the side mirror, but I find it amusing when they squeeze their mats in at one end or the other while there is plenty of open space in the middle. I know that if I were to the side and people just kept placing their mats nearby, I would be like, "GET AWAY FROM ME!! PUT YOUR MAT IN THE MIDDLE!" Yelling inside my head.

Many don't like being in the front row, I guess because they don't want to be, you know, in front. I can't not be in front. I am too used to seeing myself in the mirror. If I move back 8 feet then in the mirror I move back 16 feet, and that is just too far away for me. Besides, being in front offers better people watching

Pre-class Rituals

What does a person do with themselves while waiting for class to begin: i.e. pre-class rituals. Prior to class the lights are off, and of course, there is no talking in yoga. So, you lay there in the dark. I have never fallen asleep laying there in the dark but I have heard a few others snoring. Most people just lay on their back, quietly preparing for class, or thinking about what to do after class, or thinking about work, or thinking about which yoga poses are best suited for sex while still being reasonably comfortable. That last thought can crop up during class, too.

Some folks are gun-ho yogis and can't wait for class to begin. They go into several poses. I guess they would say they are getting warmed up. I sometimes do pushups before a class, if that class has no push-up in it. Otherwise I might stretch my arms over my head, or pull my knees to my chest, or adjust my package. Don't need out of position bits and pieces during class.

Outer Vestments

Usually the women outnumber the men. I have been in more classes where I was the only guy, then I have been in classes where men outnumbered the women. Most men wears shirts, but some do not. There is this one guy who is planet of the apes hairy and he always wears a shirt. Good for him. The guys who do go shirtless usually do not have body hair, so looks like manscaping is a prerequisite. I do not shave or wax or otherwise remove my chest hair, so as you can guess I wear a shirt. Almost all men where gym shorts of one kind or another.

The women do not go topless, and their clothes run the gamut. Some wear baggy gym shorts and loose shirts. Some wear tight spandex bottoms with sports bra tops. Others have combos. The colors also vary. All black is popular, but you get some bright colors, too.


A vast majority of those in class do not make noise beyond their breathing. But you can get a grunter or moaner sometimes. Men are more likely to grunt and groan than women. It's like the opposite of sex: where men are more likely to be all stoic and quiet, concentrating on not letting go, while women attempt to embrace the moment and can get vocal while doing so. There is this one annoying guy who I rarely see who talks during class, which is considered a no-no. I think he thinks he is being funny, throwing out sarcastic complaints or talking about a "starbucks break." Whatever, I just feel like slapping him upside the head.

With my membership I can bring guests for free, so just let me know if you want to partake in some hot room yoga.

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