Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Three W's and Yes/No

The Three W’s can be applied to any type of relationship. The Three W’s are:

What you WANT.
What you are WILLING.
What you WON’T.

Never do a WON’T , and never insist someone else do their WON’T.
You must continually discuss your Three W’s, because they change over time. Your boundaries expand, contact, and move this way and that.

Example. Let’s say you hate going to garage sales. They are a WON’T for you. But your significant other enjoys going to garage sales. Guess what? You never go to them, and your significant other accepts this and never insists you go, nor harbors resentment over this.

In conjunction with this is something I call Yes/No. You should be able to say No without fear of the other becoming angry or building resentment. Consequently you will then say Yes with confidence. You should be able to hear NO without you becoming angry or building resentment. Consequently you will then be able to hear Yes with confidence, knowing that your partner is not building resentment by agreeing to something they don’t want to do.

So simple! Yet for many, so hard to do.

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