Monday, January 14, 2013

That That

I used to think that it was fun whenever I could say “that that” in a sentence.
I used to think it was fun whenever I could say “that that” in a sentence. 

Example:

I knew that that dog would not behave.
I knew that dog would not behave.

Then I realized that I was really just saying “that” more than needed.
Then I realized I was really just saying “that” more than needed.

Then I noticed that everyone overuses “that.” Not just in conversation, but I see it in emails, news articles, and books.
Then I noticed everyone overuses “that.” Not just in conversation, but I see it in emails, news articles, and books.

Here is what you need to do. Notice when you write a sentence that includes the word “that.” Then read the sentence with “that” omitted. Remove all that are possible to remove.

Over a week or so I accumulated the following from a variety of sources.

 Glad to hear that your date went well last night.
**Glad to hear your date went well last night.**

If you were to ask someone that knows me they would probably say that I am a pretty funny person that takes sarcasm to the max.
**If you were to ask someone who knows me they would probably say I am a pretty funny person who takes sarcasm to the max.**

She could no longer pretend that he wasn’t an idiot.
**She could no longer pretend he wasn't an idiot.**

There isn’t anything that can be done about the viewing of data.
** leave it! **

We will provide a file, and not a query that you can run.
**We will provide a file and not a query you can run.**

Moving that line is simply a matter of societal and cultural change, and technological progress.
** leave it! **

Just want all of you to know that I went to my "likes", of which I had few, and unliked them all so that you will not see them as advertising in your news feed.
**Just want all of you to know I went to my "likes", of which I had few, and unliked them all so you will not see them as advertising in your news feed.**

In that moment she realized that she wasn’t really sorry at all and she didn’t really wish him well.
** In that moment she realized she wasn’t really sorry at all and she didn’t really wish him well.**


That ought to do it!

 

 

 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Bit More On Guns

There is a balance to be found between all or nothing. Reasonable laws, properly enforced, can save hundreds, even thousands of lives each year. The idea is to make it more difficult for would-be shooters and criminals, without it being too restrictive overall.

Gun proponents generally have lame arguments. Here are their common tactics. The purpose of the below argument methods is to derail any intelligent discussion on guns and to remove compromise as an option.

  • Change the Subject! Talk about traffic accident fatalities. Bring up drunk driving, or drugs. Discuss all the ways people die other than by guns. Win by misdirection.
  • Dominate the conversation! Just keep talking. If something can be said in 1 sentence then better to say it in 20. Introduce unrelated topics (see above). Overwhelm the discussion like you’re a high volume clip on full auto. Win by force.
  • Zero Sum! Accept no compromise. Any gun control is bad gun control. Regardless of what level of gun control is being proposed, escalate the argument into all or nothing. Win with absolutes.
  • Insult! Question your opponent’s patriotism. Guns are the American way! The founding fathers said so! Question your opponent’s intelligence. We have to fight tyranny! Quote criminals and dictators to illustrate their gun-love. Make your opponent appear selfish and stupid. Win by belittling.
  • Can’t beat ‘em! Crime will never go away. Violence will never go away. People with guns kill people so we need more people with guns. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Win thru demoralization.
We should always be working towards reducing shootings and gun violence. The contributing factors are many. Including societal, cultural, socioeconomic, family, relationships, mental health, and access to guns. Save for guns these factors are nuanced and multi-faceted; gun control is more straightforward and tangible. Let’s get some reasonable nation-wide laws on the books, enforce them, and then move on.

Some people hear of a shooting and imagine if only they could have been there with their own gun and killed the shooter. Other people hear of a shooting and imagine if only there was not a shooting in the first place.

 
 

 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

21st Century 2nd Amendment

Let’s bring the 2nd amendment into the 21st century. Here is the second amendment of the United States Constitution:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

But first, let’s examine the first amendment of the Unites States Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

This first one is a doozy. It covers religion, speech, press, assembly, and petitioning the government. Freedom of religion is the only one without limits, in the sense that you may establish and practice any religion of your choice. Of course, religious activities that are criminal or fraudulent are not a protected right. All of the others have limits. You may not say whatever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want. The press is not all powerful to do as it chooses. Assembling peaceably ( in itself a limit) has confines. Petitioning the government is subject to protocols and procedures.

Now back to the second amendment. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. This has limits, too. You don’t get to bear a rocket propelled grenade. A line has already been drawn. Moving that line is a matter of societal and cultural change, and technological progress.

The question is simple: what arms do the people have a right to bear?

The line has already been drawn based on destructiveness. The people don’t have the right to bear a rocket propelled grenade due to the weapon’s destructiveness and indiscriminate nature. The people do not have the right to bear fully automatic weapons because of their destructiveness. It comes down to how offensive (as opposed to defensive) a weapon is. The greater the offensive capability, i.e. designed to kill as many humans as possible as fast as possible, of the weapon the more it should be restricted.

It is time to reconsider the placement of this line.
 
By their very nature “assault” weapons are highly destructive; pushed over the line by their ability for rapid fire combined with high volume magazines. Handguns are too easily concealed; their inherit stealthiness rendering them much more offensive than defensive.

The following firearms should be legal for the people to bear:

Bolt action rifles and breech loading shotguns.

With bolt action rifles and breech loading shotguns you can hunt and protect your home. Everything else should be illegal.

Arguments of gun proponents:

“Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”
People murder people; handguns and “assault” weapons make murder easy and efficient. Let’s make it less so.

“Criminals will always be able to get guns.”
The idea is to make it more difficult for criminals to get guns. It is currently far too easy.

“Outlawing something just doesn’t make it go away.”
If you can’t have perfect results than don’t even try? So what you are saying is, “We can’t stop all robberies or rapes or terrorism so let’s just stop trying.” Whatever.

“Automobiles kill more people than guns.”
If we have mass murderers who kill via vehicular homicide then I will be more than happy to discuss “car control.”

“The founding fathers wanted to guarantee our right to bear arms.”
The founding fathers aren’t here and circumstances have changed necessitating a modification to what constitutes “arms.”

"300 million American guns were not misused again this week."
It's like we are sharing our homes, buildings, and places with gather with poisonous snakes. We go days, weeks, months without an encounter, and then 20 people die. And we do nothing; we simply wait for them to kill again.

“Gun control is not enough.”
No kidding, but gun control is part of the solution.

“But … The Second Amendment!”
We can change it if we choose, even repeal it. The brilliance of the constitution is its flexibility of interpretation. As times change, the interpretation changes. And times, they have changed, and so it is finally time for the interpretation of the second amendment to join the 21st century.

 

 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A Movie with Attitude

(There are spoilers below, but I am leaving out the key revelation [and a few other surprises], in case you watch the film.)

I streamed a movie on Netflix called "A Complete History of My Sexual Failures" and I want to write about it but I got no idea where to go with it. So, stream of consciousness writing; first thing that comes into my head ...

This is a documentary made by a 30 year old (my guess) man who appears to live in Edinburgh, Scotland. It seems he has had dozens of girlfriends and apparently all of them have dumped him (he never admits to dumping any of them). He decides to interview as many as he can to determine why they dumped him. I don't get the impression he was attempting to better himself. I get the impression he was desperate for an idea, for something to do, and went with this.

This guy is a bum. It is clear he wasn’t always this way. He looks much better, and happier, in old photos. He doesn't come close to smiling till over three quarters into the film. He speaks in a bland, monotone voice. His personal hygiene is in disrepair. He clothes are ratty. His flat is a mess. He has no job. It would seem he has lived like this for three years or so. I asked myself if he showed zero personality on purpose; as a device for his little film. I going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was truly a bum.

I have three sisters. Growing up with three sisters and listening to their opinions about boys and men I can look at a man and tell you if he is cute, or handsome, or whatever. I can see the potential in this guy. Even as a bum you can see a certain cuteness factor underneath. If he would just fix his hair, shave/trim his beard, and smile more, I can see what women might find attractive. Still, I can't believe how many women were willing to go out with him. He certainly doesn't exude confidence, but I guess if you keep asking then someone will say yes.

However, it seems to me that women in Great Britain/Europe are generally more polite, less judgmental (at least on first appearances), and more willing to give it a go than women in America. Perhaps that is my own cynical perspective talking, but I think not.

He met several women via MySpace (film released in 2008), all of them attractive. One of them went to bed with him, but he couldn’t get it up. This guy overdosed on Viagra, drank too much, and then ran around the city asking women if they would have sex with him and many women tolerated it politely or even handled it with good humor. One girl was actually interested. She got his number, texted him later, which he ignored at the time, but then they eventually got together by movies' end.

Mum and Dad, tell us the story of how you met! Well, children, I was roaming the streets drunk with an erection that wouldn’t go away asking random women to have sex and your mum took my phone number and we hooked up later.

What makes this movie worthwhile is that it encourages you to consider yourself and your own life. I find myself thinking of the movie "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Here is one boy's advice to another:


I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
- Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
That's the idea. That's the attitude.
-The attitude?
Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.


Basically, the secret is to not care, and to combine that with a certain level of aggressiveness. You are always working it, and never worrying about what happens, because you know you will eventually get a hit on your bait.

I guess I just don’t have the attitude. Probably never will.
 
 
 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

50 Shades of Dr. Seuss


I am Topper

I am Topper
Topper-boy

That Topper-boy!
That Topper-boy!
I do not like that Topper-boy

Do you like restraints and toys?

I do not like them, Topper-boy
I do not like restraints and toys

Would you like them while I pull your hair?

I would not like them while you pull my hair
I would not like them anywhere
I do not like restraints and toys
I do not like them, Topper-boy

Would you like them on a bed?
Would you like a slap upside the head?

I do not like them in a bed
I do not like a slap upside the head
I do not like when you pull my hair
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like restraints and toys
I do not like them, Topper-boy

Would you try them on the floor?
Would you like me to call you a whore?

Not on the floor. Don’t call me a whore
Not in a bed. Don’t slap me upside the head
I would not try them while you pull my hair
I would not try them anywhere
I would not try restraints and toys
I do not like them, Topper-boy

Would you? Could you? Bent over a couch?
Try them! Try them! You will love the ouch!

I would not, could not, bent over a couch

You may like them. Do not withhold
You may like wearing a blindfold

Not with a blindfold
I would not, could not with a blindfold
Not bent over a couch! You are too bold.

I do not like them in a bed
I do not like a slap upside the head
I do not like them on the floor
I do not like to be called a whore
I do not like when you pull my hair
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like restraints and toys
I do not like them, Topper-boy

Role play! Role play!
Role play! Role play!
Could you, would you play a role?

Not playing a role! Not with a blindfold!
Not bent over a couch! Topper! You are too bold!
I would not, could not, in a bed
I could not get slapped upside the head
I will not try them on the floor
I will not like to be called a whore
I will not like when you pull my hair
I will not try them anywhere
I do not like them, Topper-boy

Say! In the butt! Here in the butt!
Would you, could you, in the butt?

I would not, could not, in the butt

Would you, could you, in any hole?

I would not, could not, in any hole
Not in the butt. Not playing a role
Not over a couch, Not in a blindfold
I do not like them, Topper, you are too bold
Not on the floor. Don’t call me a whore
Not in a bed. Don’t slap my head
I will not let you pull my hair
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like restraints and toys?

I do not like them, Topper-boy

Could you, would you, enjoy a spanking?

I would not, could not bear a spanking!

Come on! Come on! Your safe word can be banking!

I do not need a safe word of banking
I will not, will not, bear a spanking
I will not, will not play a role
I will not try them in any hole
Not in the butt! Not in a blindfold!
Now let me be, you are too bold!
I do not like them on the floor
I do not like to be called a whore
I will not try them in a bed
I do not like to be slapped in the head
I do not like when you pull my hair
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like restraints and toys!
I do not like them, Topper-boy

You do not like them. SO you say
Try them! Try them!
And you may
Try them and you may, I say

Topper! If you will let me be, I will try them
You will see

Say!
I like restraints and toys!
I do!! I like them, Topper-boy!
We now need that safe work of banking
For surely I would enjoy a spanking
I would love to play a role
And in the butt, in any hole!
Bent over the couch, with a blindfold
There is nothing that I will withhold

So I will try them in a bed
And I would like a slap upside the head
And I will try them on the floor
I get goose bumps when you call me a whore
And I will try them as you pull my hair
Say! I will try them ANYWHERE!

I do so like restraints and toys!
Thank you! Thank you, Topper-boy!



 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Revolutionary Road: Rorschach Movie Test


I fired up the movie Revolution Road last night and early on I had a thought pop into my head and I tweeted it. A bit later I had another thought. Tweeted that one, too. Then I decided to just keep tweeting whatever thoughts popped into my head as I was watching the movie.

Granted, these are not ALL of my thoughts. I have excluded stuff like "nice boobs" and "how many vintage cars did they need to shoot this street scene." Not to mention any auditory exclamations I may have made.

Here they are, my first reaction, thematic thoughts on the movie Revolutionary Road:

  • Never hang all of your hopes on accomplishment.
  • Accept where you are. Embrace it. Persevere for the change you desire.
  • Are good neighbors helpful? Or do you impose on them so they can impose on you?
  • You don't necessarily have to go anywhere or do anything in order to have a passionate life.
  • If you are ever disappointed with your life just remember that everyone does what they want. You are where you are because of your choices
  • Of course the grass is greener on the other side, you haven't peed all over it yet.
  • It isn't the endgame that excites us so much, it is the possibilities of what might happen that sets our hearts racing.
  • Life is never so alive as in our memories.
  • It's never as good as when people say exactly what they think and feel, yet can accept whatever others have to say.
  • The real trick is adapting to reality as it intrudes upon what you thought was possible.
  • The trouble comes when you let the expectations of others intrude upon your possibilities.
  • A memorable big moment is only a collection of simple small moments.
  • Whatever that magic is you are looking for you can find it wherever you are.
  • It would be great to be with someone where it always feels like the two of us are sharing an inside joke.
  • Just remember, if you blow bubbles then they are gonna pop.
  • When you live your life according to the choices of two people, sometimes the both of you end up with what you don't want.
  • The point of life is to learn what is important to you, because most of the time we are chasing ghosts.
  • And that concludes tonight's movie tweets. Revolutionary Road.



Wednesday, October 17, 2012

L to the A

It was my first time to visit Los Angeles. Being in town for just one night, and accompanied by my teenage daughter with the stated purpose of visiting college campuses, my options were limited.

As we drove away in our rental car I noted the locations of a few gas stations so I could fill up on my way back. I reached an overpass, which I drove under, and not paying attention to signs (or the lack thereof) I thought it might be 405. I simply made a left from under the overpass to find that there was no entrance ramp, and this was not 405. No biggie, and besides, fate was rolling the dice.

I drove down a ways and turned right and as we neared 405, and rounded a bend, a huge donut loomed ahead. Randy’s Donut’s. This was my first movie moment, being that I have seen that huge donut in movies. We stopped for donuts, of course. It was 9:30 in the AM, after all. Cake-like donuts with loads of sugar.

We had no official appointment at UCLA, but we walked around the campus just to check it out. Pretty campus. I liked the big, tall trees. It was also hilly. A quiet Sunday morning. Driving back down 405 I decided we would head out to Venice Beach and have lunch.

This is when it became obvious that freeway ramps in LA are almost never setup like freeway ramps in Dallas. Except right in downtown Dallas there are feeder roads alongside freeways, with entrance/exit ramps. If you want to make what amounts to a left-turn from a street unto a freeway then about 95% of the time you do so from the left lane. But the norm in LA would seem to be from the right lane, with a clover-leaf ramp. Or even turn right and drive down a block to turn right twice more. Two rights really do make a left.

After finding myself on the wrong side of the street a few times I settled into the routine.

My second movie moment came when I saw exits for Olympic and Pico. Don’t ask me how my brain functions, but when I saw the names of these two streets the first Terminator movie popped into by head, as both streets get a mention.

Venice Beach was as expected; full of good people watching. We checked out a few shops and ate lunch at Danny’s, a tasty deli. I had the Cuban sandwich and my daughter had the pastrami. Very good chips. Walking along Venice Beach was a definite movie moment; how many movies have featured Venice Beach?

We drove by USC to get familiar with the area and then headed to the hotel, a Ramada near the convention center. Nap time.

On a recommendation we drove out to Tarzana for dinner. Sol y Luna. It is on Ventura Boulevard, so more a music moment than movie. Awesome guacamole, good Mexican food. Mmm, guacamole.

The following morning I searched for “breakfast in Los Angeles” and the third choice down, nearby and on the way to USC, was Jacks N Joe. I had buttermilk pancakes, and I tell ya, they might well have been the best pancakes I ever stuffed in my mouth. Daughter had the French toast, which also a got a thumbs up.

USC is great. I want to go to school there. Interesting that USC is flat, while UCLS is hilly. We were there for quite some time. Read the campus paper. Observed student traffic between classes.

We had plenty of time before out late afternoon flight and headed toward Santa Monica. My daughter was browsing lunch spot reviews and we opted for some deli-style place. To be honest, I forgot the name. We found it and parked across the street in a Von’s parking lot, with “you will be towed” signs all over. We headed into Von’s and bought a few snacks for the plane.

We had lunch at a place called Swingers (not our original destination). I had the pasta special and it was tasty. My daughter kept worrying about the car, thinking we would get towed. I tried to explain to her that the only way they would know to tow us is if we didn’t go into Von’s, and we went into Von’s and even bought something! But she just couldn’t get over it.

Then it was out the airport and a flight outta there.