Want to know why I am thinking about hair? I will tell
you why. I recently found myself in the restroom at work pulling gray hairs
outta my eyebrows … without tweezers. Why do gray eyebrow hairs grow longer
than the darker hairs? Why do gray eyebrow hairs grow at angles different than
the darker hairs? Must be some kinda curse; gray hairs working so hard to stand
out. So. Let us visit some hair topics.
Wild, Wild Hair
I am generally not a hairy person. However, over the
years the hair just keeps growing in previously barren patches of skin. The
first indicator of my wild, wild hair was a visit to a hair stylist. (Don’t get
excited. My version of a hair stylist it the 15 buck a cut version at places
like Great Clips.) One time at the hair stylist she took the electric trimmers
and ran it across my eyebrows. I didn’t have Gandalf the Gray bushy eyebrows,
but she ran those trimmers across anyway. Then she ran the trimmer along edge
of my ears! What! Along the edge of my ears?!
This was the beginning of the curse because then I
started to get hairs in my eyebrows that were longer and standing out; the
foundation of bushy sprouts. Then I would sometimes find a half-inch long hair
growing out the edge of an ear. What. The. Fudge. Just sticking out, growing
sideways, outta the edge of my ear. Random hairs began appearing along my
shoulders and upper back. Now I got hair on my stomach. A few small patches on
my lower back. Hair on my butt cheeks! (No 80’s version of Mel Gibson’s ass for
me.) More hair growing outta my ears, and outta my nose.
Hair, hair everywhere! Which leads us to ….
Manscaping
Many months ago I popped into a bar/restaurant for food a
few drinks. For reasons beyond my reckoning a table of four women was
paying attention to me. So I pulled up a stool and joined them. They
immediately asked if I was familiar with the term “manscapping.” To which I
replied, “I did me some manscapping earlier today.” Do I need to say more?
Would you like to know the details of my manscaping? There really isn’t much to
tell. This is mostly just a teaser topic. ☺
Am I supposed to remove my chest hair? Because when I
lived in an apartment and would go to the pool, the men were all hairless. At
the gym, etc, many men seem hairless. On TV and in the movies: most are
hairless. What do they do? Shave it? (Sounds like an investment in time. Who
wants the stubble?!) Get it waxed? (Again, time. And money) Laser hair removal?
(How effective is that? Even more crazy time, and crazy money). I am a mammal.
Mammals have hair.
Onset of Gray Hair
My very first gray hair was noticed by a college
girlfriend. There was no real encroachment on that front until my 30’s. I recall when my daughter, at an age around
5, drew a picture of me and she gave me gray hair. Gray chest hair creeps in.
The aforementioned gray eyebrow hairs. Okay. Get ready for it. Here is comes. Then
you get a visit from the Gray Pubic Hair Fairy. Yep. If there is any reason to
embrace manscaping, this would be it. Now I have noticed a little patch of gray
hairs on my left arm, near the wrist. The right arm? No such patch. The left
arm? A fuzzy patch of gray. Whatever.
Women and Their Hair
We can’t have a discussion about hair and leave out the
women folk! Woman color their hair, pluck their hair, shape their hair, and
otherwise remove their hair. And I don’t want to have it any other way. Dainty
eyebrows? Yes, please. No underarm hair? Yes, please. Smooth legs? Yes, please.
Take care of that bikini line? Yes, please. You know where this is leading. And
when it comes to that; hair, no hair, some hair, whatever hair, it is all good.
Well, as long as there is no unkempt hair. You know what I mean? Hey, as long
as she cares about her hairs.
So. Final word. Hair, no hair, it’s all good.
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