Here is how I work it on Tinder. I view a pic. I ask
myself, “if this pic were across the room at a social event would I want to
talk to her?” My only expectation is to meet people. What better measure than
if I would walk across a room to speak to her? Okay then. I load the App. I set
my preferences, for distance and age. I see profiles. I start judging. One day
later I get a hit. Exciting! Do you know what this means? This means I
superficially judged a woman as “like” and she superficially judged me as
“like.” Awesome!
Let me share with you the exchange. As a point of
reference I am 48, she is 51. (are you judging already? Surely you would if I
provided pictures). She sends the first message.
Her: Hello … Handsome …
What I am thinking: What is up with the dot, dot, dots?
Let me think about it … you are handsome.
How I should respond: Hey there, beautiful
What I actually send: Here I am trying to think of
some clever first message, and you break the ice. What is up with you?
Her: So … What’s your story?
What I am thinking: more dot, dot, dots? Dramatic pause?
Hesitancy?
How I should respond: Just a regular guy trying to find a
woman to please.
What I actually send: Once upon a time. Yesterday, even ,
I was on central, southbound and exited at Northwest highway, heading west. So,
I was on that cloverleaf ramp, pulling some G’s and I heard a brief rattle, and
a screw fell from beneath the dash and hit my left foot. The end.
Her (3 hours later): Excellent Story …… U win …
What I am thinking: that is seven dots in row!
How I should respond: What is my prize?
What I actually send: That … is a true story … what is
your story?
No more messages from her. How am I doing at this Tinder
thing?
Tinder is the most honest and true dating app/site out
there. Throughout the history of humanity how have people met? They see each
other and decide to talk. At school, a party, a club, at church, wherever. You
see someone and you decide you would like to meet that person. What do you know
about them? Nothing. Just what you see.
What sucks about the other dating
sites/apps? All the frigging details! All that frigging information! We think
it helps but the exact opposite is true, it just gets in the way. First, it
creates false intimacy; you think you know someone but you really have no idea.
You fill in the blanks with your imagination, and if you do meet then your
expectations rarely will be met. Second, it promotes laziness; we want to like
someone before we meet them. Paradoxically, instead of looking for things we
might like about a person, we look for what we don’t like.
I have gotten four matches so far. The one above. One
whom I inadvertently swiped right (for like), and guess I will message some
anyway. A third who has not yet responded to my message, perhaps she
inadvertently swiped me to the right! And, of course, a spammer; where
she/he/it asked me to contact her on KIK. Wait. Just added two more, and each
is a real person.
Feel the love on Tinder.
